Knowluck Gets Lucky
While it is true that my accounts of the adventures of my friend, the famous consulting detective Knowluck Jones, are seemingly devoid of love interests it is not, as some of the popular press would imply, that he swings to the beat of a different drummer. He is, in fact, so engrossed in the practice of his profession that there is little time for other pursuits. Simply put; he doesn't get out much.
The bell rang just after noon at our Damon Park residence. The woman that enquired after Knowluck was young, rather attractive and obviously distressed. Having no idea what the problem might be I asked her in to wait until Knowluck returned. He was combing the side of Route 93 for a wheel nut. The Morgan wheel it was retaining had been retrieved from the pukka- brush and delivered, with the car, to the shop via tow truck the day before.
As expected he arrived, in time for lunch, with the missing nut in hand.
"Ms. Candy Apple", I introduced our visitor to Knowluck; "has a problem about which she wishes to consult you."
Knowluck shook hands with our visitor; "Indeed; indeed, please have a seat and tell me how I may service you."
She began her tale hesitatingly. "I'm not certain that there is a problem but I don't want to be caught up in something illegal if there is. You see, I answered and advertisement in the Hull Times.; not my usual kind", she blushed, "but one for looking general office help. I've been thinking it is time to start in a new field..."
"Decided to leave pole dancing" interrupted Knowluck.
"Why yes how did you know I was a dancer?"
"My dear the dancer part was obvious from your athletic figure and outfit but only a gymnast or professional pole dancer would have such a strong grip and hard palms."
"You noticed my hands?"
"Continue please."
"I was told my hours would be 8:30 to 5:00 and that I was to sit at a computer and type. I told him that I didn't type and he said he assumed as much and more the better. One finger typing would do just fine. He gave me a stack of Morgan Car club rosters and told me to copy them. Mr. Jones; I do believe you are staring."
"No, no I was admiring your Ride Me Like You Stole Me tattoo. Do go on."
"Oh thank you. Well there really isn't much else. That was three weeks ago and I have been working every day. Mr. Bartholomew, my boss left early this morning and didn't say when he would be back. It just seems strange that all he asked me to do is type while he stays in the garage working on an old car. I wouldn't want to find out I was covering for a drug ring or something."
"Have no fear Ms. Apple I am quite certain there are no pharmaceuticals involved although I would not rule out an addiction. Please take me to your place of employment. Piston, you will accompany us I hope."
I was surprised at the invitation but agreed willingly.
Ms. Apple was ensconced in a study off the kitchen in one of the large houses near Jerusalem Road. Knowluck looked briefly around the study and then at the computer. "This door I presume leads to the garage?"
Knowluck opened the door and led us through. Within was a maroon Morgan Drop Head Coupe with the bonnets up and tools laying about. He withdrew his glass and examined the TR engine. After a long moment he opened the driver's side door and turned the ignition key but did not engage the starter. Leaving the key he withdrew and grabbing a coat hanger, which he straightened as he went around the car, he made for the gas filer cap. He was probing the gas tank with the coat hanger when the door opened.
"Candy what is the meaning of this? Who are these men? Get away from my car or I'll call the police!"
The newcomer, obviously Ms. Apple's employer stood in the door with what appeared to be a voltage regulator in hand.
Knowluck quickly replied; "Please don't be alarmed Mr. Bartholomew, we are here at Ms, Apple's invitation and I think we might be of service to you."
"Service to me?"
"Yes. It is quite obvious that you have been struggling with the repair of your Morgan for several weeks."
"That is true. It would stall unexpectedly. I tried to start it without success but after waiting fifteen or so minutes it would start right up and I could drive away as if nothing happened. I put in new points, plugs, rotor and distributor cap. Then one morning I tried to start it and there was only the click of the solenoid. I guessed that the battery was dead and so I used my Volvo to jump-start the Morgan. I drove around for hours but when I stopped the battery was still dead. I bought a new battery but it was dead after I drove the Morgan to a noggin and back that evening. It stopped once on that trip too. I removed the Alternator and took it to U2 Battery Supply and they tested it and said it was not working and so sold me a new one. I put the new one in and still the battery still did not charge. I know the Alternator is working because I got a big spark once when I touched the wire to ground. The only thing left that I can think of is the voltage regulator."
Knowluck did not reply immediately. He withdrew the coat hanger from the gas tank and wiped it on his shirt sleeve. "Sir; it would seem that when you purchased your Morgan it had already been fitted with an electric fuel pump and an alternator. The rapid clicking you hear when the key is turned is the fuel pump doing its thing. The fact that you have SU carburetors and that it continues clicking for more than five minutes tells me that it is not moving much gas. Your car has been stalling due to gas starvation caused by a faulty fuel pump. The draining of the battery is probably not related; perhaps you left the heater switch on. In any event when you jump- started the car your alternator, which at 100 amps has more than twice the output of the original dynamo, blew the ammeter preventing further charging of the battery. This alternator, like most, has an internal voltage regulator and bypasses the one on the scuttle so that replacement you hold can be returned. However, the 'big spark' you interpreted as verifying that the alternator was working may have blown the diodes that control the alternator's output. You may need another new alternator in addition to the new fuel pump. While you are at it you might ask yourself why, if the original mechanical fuel pump supplied enough gas, replace it with an electric that may pump more than enough but at the expense of additional complexity. The same question can be asked regarding the alternator."
"Ms. Apple," Knowluck said leaving the perplexed Bartholomew clutching his voltage regulator; "It seems your employer is one of the new breed of telecommuters and works from home. He has been using you to keep his computer active so his Morgan repair activities would not be noticed by his employer. Your job here I fear is at an end but there is perhaps something you could do for me."
For Evelyn